Shrekposting Cuz Another 8 Hour Grind
Shrekposting Cuz Another 8 Hour Grind
Blog Article
Man, this job really sucks. I'm so fried I could just fall asleep. All I wanna do is slurp some juice and stare at the wall for hours. But first, gotta share a few Shrek memes to defeat the pain. Life is a real journey, man.
The climb up the corporate ladder is merely a trek towards Shrek's swamp
Sure, they tell you it's all about hunger, about climbing to the top and controlling your little kingdom. They paint a picture of luxury, but let me tell you, that shiny penthouse suite with its panoramic view? It's just another lonely tower in Shrek's swamp.
Get ready for long hours, brainstorming sessions that go nowhere, and a never-ending parade of backstabbing coworkers. Your goals? They'll get swallowed up in the mire like another unfortunate tourist who wandered into this wretched swamp.
- And don't even get me started on the dress code. You think your blazers will impress anyone down here?
- Trust me, you'll be wishing for a good pair of rain gear
When you find yourself climbing that ladder, pause and ask yourself: Is this really what I want? Or am I just bamboozled by the system, only to end up like every other lost soul in Shrek's swamp?
Subject Line: "Important Meeting" - My Being: "Like an Onion, Shrek."
You know that feeling when your manager sends out an email with/about/regarding a meeting and the subject line just screams "urgency/importance/significance"? Yeah, well, my soul is currently experiencing something akin to a fictional onion. Layered with anxiety/dread/a healthy dose read more of WTF, each layer reveals/hides/uncovers another questionable/confusing/intriguing detail about the meeting's purpose.
Is it a performance review? A team-building exercise/activity/nightmare? Or, perhaps, the unveiling of a revolutionary/disastrous/slightly off-brand new company initiative? Honestly, at this point, I wouldn't be surprised if it was a meeting about how to best prepare for/survive/celebrate an alien invasion.
- I crave coffee. Like, a metric ton of coffee.
- Perhaps it's wise to busy with something else.
- Can I survive this meeting without losing my mind?
This Spreadsheet Could Be Done Faster With Titan Power
Look, this spreadsheet is a real pain. I'm drowning in data and formulas, my brain is fried, and the deadline is looming like a hungry goblin. It wouldn't take some serious muscle to get this thing done. I'm talking about the kind of power that only an ogre. This ain't a job for your average office worker, this is heavy lifting work.
- Maybe I should call a team of orcs?
- This spreadsheet needs a supercomputer
- I'm gonna need a nap
Weekend? Nah, I'm Just Going Back to My Layer Cake of Papers
The idea of leisure this weekend is just hilarious. My desk is currently a mountain of documents, each one demanding my attention. Honestly, I'm more excited about devouring this tower of assignments than I am about watching some Netflix. Maybe a Sunday marathon of caffeine and printing is more my speed.
Full Time Work Makes Me Feel Like a Donkey in a Corporate Stable
I'm trapped in this office machine. Every day feels like I'm lumbering along, just another donkey in the system. I'm wrung dry from carrying this burden day after day. I fantasize about breaking free.
- Maybe I'll become a farmer and actually actually get to spend time with creatures who are happy in their environment.
- {Or maybe I'll start my own business and finally find peace.
- {Whatever it is, I know I can't stay here forever.{ It's just not healthy.